LSW #9 Limbo, getting better and optionality

As painful as the last two weeks have been, it also taught me some important lessons. They might be useful to you as well.

Limbo vs clear cut disaster

The one challenge that comes with swimming in muck is that you don’t always know when it is going to end and how it is going to end.

Welcome to limbo. Often limbo is worse than a clear cut disaster.

In my own example, when I first realized that the site went down, I was expecting a 1 hour shutdown. Once I knew it was gone forever, I had no option but to move on and figure out what’s next.

Even though on day twelve I was in a much worse position than I was on day one, I was much more clearer.

Getting better with time

I don't have a tech background. It took me 2 months to build out my first site. It took me less than a week to do the same second time around. This is not including the time to write all the articles.

While I don’t want to keep rebuilding my site, it’s been a good example of how over time we naturally get better and faster at doing something even though it might not feel that way in the moment.

The question is whether we have the patience to let the natural process evolve.

Or to use a gardening metaphor, are we going to keep uprooting the plant to check if it is in fact growing?

Optionality vs 100% Commitment

Our culture values optionality very highly. It's often seen as a sign of intelligence. I for one was always a commitment phobe and wanted to keep my "options" open in everything.

What was interesting was that once I knew my site was gone and that I had NO other options but to rebuild, it gave me a lot of clarity.

And with clarity also came a lot of power for taking action.

As long as there was glimmer of hope of somehow retrieving my site, I was stuck in inaction. The moment that changed, the consequent actions became very clear.

We lose a lot of power by keeping our backdoor open. Consider what areas in your life might benefit from 100% commitment.

Is it fixable?

Anytime I catch myself in the spiral of doom thinking due to an ongoing crisis, asking this question really helps: is it fixable?

Regardless of the complexity of the situation, if it is fixable, then we can do something about it.

Combining this question with the stoic dichotomy of control I mentioned last week, has been a lifesaver.

Meanwhile, there are other situations in life like health and losing loved ones, that are truly not fixable. They are reminders of the existential givens of our human condition.

My situation while clearly a disaster was squarely in the fixable category. Thinking about what the parents in the Uvalde shooting must be going through, gave me some pause and perspective.

That's it for this edition. Have a great rest of the week!

– Sheril Mathews